The Dilemma of the #ChurchGirl .

The "church girl" concept is made up of 2 groups, first would be the single ladies while the second group is made up of the unhappy and unfulfilled married yet could be termed single lady. In all, the concept of the church girl is a dissatisfied (embodied with loneliness) lady seeking frantically to understand the reason for her incompleteness even after embracing what looks like a relationship with God. Some call it a thirst or quest to be filled while others see it as a product of a social systemic abuse that has allowed greed to creep in; whatever the case, there's gross dissatisfaction right at the centre of her being. Not one but almost all the ladies seem to keep searching even after the might have found what many perceive as love. It’s like the case of lot’s wife looking back at Sodom and Gomorra even when she had her husband, kids and divine deliverance/ guidance (Angels on assignment) The average church girl is similar to an incomplete book or a book with missing pages, you’ll never fully understand what the book is all about till you find those pages, hence she's highly informed about the "logic of God" yet completely absent minded on the dynamics of God’s operation in certain areas of her personal life. I mean areas that were nurtured by notions that she inherited from a highly dysfunctional society. She fed on the imaginations of a few authors, pen down on the pages of a book or magazine, the analysis of what makes up the content of her understanding of her emerging female identity is a summation of lies and bias. Often tailored towards empowering her but eventually revealed as a design to destroy her. The philosophies that make up the secular idea of female gender liberation are built on faulty principles. To start with, the idea that female is limited by male is a gross misinterpretation of what really is. I strongly believe that to properly understand where the church girl is and where she needs to be, we need to understand how she was formed and the purpose of her configuration as a female. Being female is not a weakness, it’s a uniqueness empowered and contained in the seemingly weaker structure to support her function of caring, birthing, incubation etc. The idea that female is inferior hence in bondage and need liberation is an aberration. The propaganda for liberation may seem intelligent but so long as it’s basic premise is derived from the idea that male is stealing the show; then the whole liberation brouhaha is wrong. The bible says we are not of those that compare amongst themselves for such people are not wise. The authority that defines the identity of the church girl has clearly distinguished himself over the generations as accurate and perfect- God; HE is her maker (God), at creation, he saw her and called her good, the one that formed and fashioned her to meet certain objectives. Female is not a disease, it’s the completing software for the male man. Considering my assessment of the female man above and my leaning towards God, I guess it would suffice to say the church as it exist at the moment has the where without to fix the missing link; unfortunately that's not the case. The church should but doesn’t seem to know what to do with the female man. Asides the loud noise of "God would do it" the current leadership of the church seem lost in their attempt to figure out why the church girl seem unhappy regardless of all her commitment and fellowship attendance. Its like Hannah seeking God for Samuel, on the face of it, she should be glad seeing that she is loved by her husband, but the truth is that for every Samuel that is yet to birth, there would be dissatisfaction in the church girl. A good church girl knows that there's more to her than where she is currently, either as a single lady or married. Being fulfilled takes meeting divine objective. We would always feel single so long as our potentials are grossly undermined. Relationships (male and female) are the biggest un discussed issue in church and for the church girls, who’s wired to respond to love and attention, when that is missing at home, she turns to pastor for answers but as usual, pastor roll’s out scriptures aimed at bulldozing the problem away, continuously brandishing Proverbs 31.10 woman as the standard without diligently addressing certain issues that makes it impossible to attain that status. The deepest cravings of the church girl is finding human/male love (or acceptance as case maybe) even after she has found Gods love. Its so easy to say God would sort her out but from the little I know of God, he won't do again what he has already concluded, as regards the case of acceptance, God called her good at creation, God accepts the church girl but the challenges she faces and the seeming lack of understanding of situations around her seem to make her think otherwise. So the church girl makes mistakes here and there then ends up like our mothers, tied to the apron of another man who might know so many scriptures yet no articulate vision for the lady to "help meet”. This is part of the dilemma of the church girl, a gross misrepresentation of how God works vis-à-vis the constant inability of the man to utilise her gifting without feeling threatened. There's a great divide, a war of clashing identities, the world system seem to have conjured a new identity, elegant, attractive and seemingly outstanding definition of who she need to be so she can fit in as a stooge for media advert and anywhere else she might be needed, an object of pleasure today, tomorrow may be as a manikin for product exhibition, the use of the female as defined by the world system vis-à-vis her divine purpose seem to be in conflict hence she's trying so hard to meet up, a race set forth by the hidden hands that she first encountered in Eden, the same hands that sold the idea that once she ate the forbidden fruit of good and evil, she would be as God. That same hand is constantly working to keep the church girl busy to ensure her focus is distorted. From the above summation, its obvious she's at war with herself, however to fully understand the dilemma of the church girl we must dissect the male man. Just like Eden, the absenteeism of the male man who is supposed to be the custodian of the vision seem to have a direct effect on the obvious inability of the female man to accomplish purpose, this is because they were designed to function together, tending the garden (Eden) was a goal and in order to achieve maximum efficiency, a "help meet" was designed for the male man. When the male man is missing, blatant abuse of purpose is inevitable, its the same when the female man is missing in the life of the male man, his incompleteness shows in the exhibition of reckless animalistic tendencies that drives him into bed with every thing that skirts. The rhythmic consequences of having a visionary man available cannot be quantified. In creating a man and a woman, God seem to have locked up a lot about each other in each other hence we naturally gravitate towards each other. This is partly the reason why the church girl would seek to accomplish emotional balance by insisting on a successful love life. In this mix of identity crises is the God factor, the church girl is not without God or a form of God, she's born again, speaks in tongue, committed and professes faith, however the activities listed above have nothing to do with the practical application of God and Gods word. Its possible to be tongue blabbing, spirit filled yet be broke and clueless about life. One common mistake we make is to equate activities with understanding of God. We often embrace the person of Jesus while we toss to the bin his principles; whereas the world embraces his principles and ignore his person. Principles are everything, the universe was governed by laws/principles and so is the spirit realm. There is no amount of prayer that can save you should you decide to drive your car recklessly. Similarly walking in the fullness of Gods divine purpose requires an in-depth understanding of his will. There are laws governing relationships and an abuse of such laws would break you. The decisions we make often determine where we end up. As a lady or man, the choices we make have a lot to do with our philosophies, our philosophies are shaped by the quality of information we are exposed to; Unfortunately the church girl is exposed to a mix of good, bad and ugly information about who she ought to be. The media and social system seem to define who she should be at the expense of who God made her and as usual the glossy definition from the social system seem more attractive hence she embellish here and there with a few scriptures and a lot of activities to make the new identity look godly but at the end of the day, its all white wash. So much christainies yet no substance, we approach life with the said white washed and bible coated identity demanding a divine encounter which my friend is certainly impossible. You cannot sow into flesh and expect to reap eternal life or any spiritual substance, we cannot keep making decisions or living life using the new found standards (Social shenanigan) yet we seek to put a demand on the spiritual for something that’s of worth. That completely contravenes the scriptures. The bible says deep calleth unto deep, the true reflection of our value system is revealed in the decisions that govern our daily existence. We seem to have lost the sense of accountability that hitherto distinguishes us as people of God. There’s a very subtle way that our sense of godliness is eroded without our knowing. The bible calls it little little foxes that spoil the vine; so the church girl falls here and there, she prays so hard yet falls so easily, her list of why and when are endless, its back and forth, year in year out, the race is endless, the feeling of emptiness is ever increasing and we beg to understand like Apostle Paul, who shall save her from this life of misery, a mix of fulfillment coated with glamour, full attendance of daily Christian activities yet the feeling of insecurity knows no end. In the pages of history are littered the stories of other church girls that should ordinarily serve as a guide to the upcoming stylish church girl but unfortunately, the benefit of the experiences of those gone ahead of her seem to elude her, its still a mystery that we can make the same mistakes over many generations without understanding the pattern. Let’s take for example the case of choice as it concerns the average love life of the church girl. Its proven that most of the godly ladies end up with men less than expected, it’s a common phenomenon to have our best hands beaten and battered by one broken arrow called a man, I call him broken arrow simply because in my view, everyman that sees the success of a lady as a threat to his manhood is a highly incompetent and dysfunctional man, even if he’s a Christian, in fact that makes him more of a broken arrow. A man is meant to be the arrow head of Gods project in the last days, however most men have resolved to pursue their own agenda in place of Gods divine plan. Such men end up seeing the strength of the woman as a threat and his best shot is to shut her down to enable him flourish. The question I asked is how did the church girl end up with such a looser, what went wrong? The answer is simple; in the words of one of my friends, who happen to be in bed with such a man, she said and I quote” being a man is not about TM shirts and trousers, being a man is about character” I’ll never forget those words, she said them after she had the ring on, it was already too late. A very intelligent and God seeking lady; she however made the decision regardless of all the obvious signs. Yes I said obvious signs cos most times the signs are there, we just choose to ignore them. Its easy to conceal a habit like inconsistent study of the bible but its impossible to conceal complete disregard for everything that God stands for, yet there’re so many church girls that justify their romance with the shadow of darkness while hoping to change him. Like my friend above, she saw the signs but felt he would change, anyway the rest is history, it would suffice you to note that she also said people don’t change, situation would always bring out who the are. I don’t know about that but I certainly know she seem to have more facts and truth once she made a mess of her life by hobnobbing with the wrong man. Decisions are life lines for personal fulfillment, our decisions reveal the quality of our values, it’s the true indicator of where you stand as a child of God. It’s so easy to speak all the “bless you” without actually taking a hold of the substance of the God we seek to lay claim to. When we make decisions using shallow indices, what we get is always a shallow return. It reminds me of Prophet Samuels attempt to choose one of David’s brothers as king but God stopped him saying man looks at the outward but God looks at the inside. Its so common that the elegant ones are the misfit, whereas the seemingly dejected ones are the chosen ones, its still a mystery for me, I am yet to fully understand why God choose to conceal the best in earthen vessels while the empty pots always wear the pretty looks. It’s a spiritual mystery, its something the church girl needs to really understand that the scars of battle are not in themselves a disadvantage, in fact the are an indication that character is forged in the furnace of affliction. God is in the business of concealing the best in the mended pots hoping we would unlock it by the act of faith. Finally to conclude I would share a story with you, a certain church girl met a young man who really like her, she had knowledge that the guy was all up in her business; anyway when I asked her reason for ignoring him she said I don’t like him, I asked why, she replied he’s got flat butt, I was shocked, she had looked at all attributes and qualities in this young man, everything was good except his butt ,anyway it took the application of wisdom to get her to see the emptiness of her assessment. My point is we really need to work on our indices, the battle within us is best revealed in the decisions we make. The dilemma of the church girl is that of indecision and misinterpretation of God and Gods ways. Beyond all the spiritual gymnastics, its pertinent to seek understanding of who we are becoming. Use the word of God as a yard stick for measuring the worth of your decisions. It’s a continuous process, we need to keep assessing ourselves to enable us reap the benefits of a relationship with God. The bible says be transformed by the renewing of your mind, it’s an ongoing process; we need to be refined daily. There is hope for the church girl just like there’s hope for the broken dysfunctional male man but it takes commitment, it takes making the right decisions, I say ‘baby steps make giant strides. I strongly believe that we have all we need to effectively achieve success in all areas. Gods grace is sufficient for us, especially at this time when our strength seem small. To be continued… Author:Igonoh Godwin/27th April 2012